Friday, March 20, 2015

Get out, Yo'

I know I may get some rebuttal on this one, but here it is.

Get out!

Attachment is hard work and we are so afraid that if we leave we will ruin everything we have worked for and so we wait, and we wait, and we follow all the rules.

We put our marriages on the back burner while we wait.

Whoa. Girls.

There is something very wrong with that statement.

This is not okay. This is not Biblical. This is a lie.

Take time with your husband. Go out with him. It may only be an hour of walking around the park while your friends sit with your kids. But get out!

If the marriage fails, that attachment is going to take an even bigger hit. You need this. Your kids need you to need this. It is not just okay, it is necessary.

Maybe you are stuck and don't have friends or family that you trust. Then plan a date night in. Buy some wine, or sparkling grape juice (whichever floats your boat) and some nice steak and chocolate.

Do your hair. I am aware that this may take several attempts to comb through since it currently is the neighborhood birds nest.

Throw on something that doesn't have drool or other bodily fluids on it.

And get out!!

Last night I got out for the first time and remembered how wonderful freedom is. I was able to look into my husbands face and think through what I wanted to say. I could actually tell him about my time in China and the trauma it is still causing me.

I have a really awesome pediatrician who sat me down at the girls first check up and looked me in the eye and said, "I am advocating for your marriage. This is a whole lot to take on and you need to work hard on your marriage right now."

Hi. I love you, Dr. You rock. You get this. You know the road before me.

Ladies, do something special for your spouse tonight.
Here are a few practical ideas:

Make him a cup of coffee when he walks in the door.

Kiss him until his toes curl when he gets home. Let the screaming continue and give him just ten seconds to remember how very much you love him.

Clean up his side of the bed.

Wear the perfume that makes him smile.

Give him a gift card to his favorite store.

Write him a sweet note and put it next to his favorite snack.

Tell him out loud that you love him and appreciate that he spent all week working so that your family needs could be met. (even though you seriously, seriously wish that had been you all week!)


And if it is at all possible, even if you think your kids will regress in leaps and bounds, and the whole dang house will burn down while you are gone,

Get Out!!!




1 comment:

  1. It took us 4 months to finally get out and I so wished we had just done it sooner. It was like the best therapy ever!! Great, needed advice!

    ReplyDelete