Marriage Survival

Oh snap. Do I really have to delve into this bad boy?

Marriage is hard when two selfish being live in the same space, right? Throw in there the trauma of adoption and this is Satan's playground. We get cranky, and darn right filled with anger. We can't really take the anger out on the kids, so it tends to come spewing out at the very person we are clinging to and needing in that moment.

God gave me a really, really great man who respects my opinion (mostly), adores me, tries to understand my complex personality, does all the laundry (be jealous, Ladies) and kisses me until I forget what day it is. And yet, the trauma had me wondering when the last time I actually had kissed him was! I was snoring the minute my head hit the pillow after the kids were in bed. I vaguely remembered being goofy together and having battles of the witty brains,vaguely.

Here are some practical tips for your tired, worn out marriages:

Remember you are on the same team.

Invest in a punching bag. No, seriously, order one on amazon today. Buy the pink boxing gloves just for the heck of it. You can thank me later.

Find humor together even in the madness. Make inside jokes that only the two of you get, even if it is about the trauma you are experiencing. Find a way to laugh!

Kiss when the working spouse gets home. Just do it. Take a minute before unloading on each other and savor your kisses.

Kiss even when you are mad. Just do it ya'll. Say it with me, "endorphins are my friends."

Start a new tv show together. You're too tired to really talk, so find something to keep in common.

Be open and discuss what is going on in the home. Don't hide things from each other. EVER.

On that really stressful day, when you are positive the whole world is going up in flames, buy a carton of ice cream and eat it together like you are The Gilmore Girls. If you are super lucky, maybe you can do this while watching Gilmore Girls!

Pray. This may be the very most important thing I will say. Pray together. Pray often. Pray for each other.

Apologize. You yelled. You lost it and it really wasn't his fault that the toilet overflowed anyways. So, just say you are sorry.

Talk to another couple who has been there before you. Talk to your pastor.

There is nothing wrong with counseling. It's not a shameful thing to ask for help. Get that notion out of your sweet head.

Speak up when you have been hurt by words or actions. Don't let it burn in your heart for weeks and months. Bring it out in the open and talk it through together.

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